Brad Pitt doing Sexy time.

In my quest for footage of  Brad Pitt’s naked sex pecs, I stumbled across a 3 hour mess called Meet Joe Black.

The movie wasn’t as bad as it was made out to be a decade ago but it wasn’t citizen kane either.

The sex scene is starring Brad Pitt which means that it doesn’t matter what the movie is about or how long it is.

Enjoy.

Get Up. Stand Up … and pass the dorritos.

Attention: Men and women with extremely baggy pants, glow in the dark attire, and “a really AWESOME hand-made piece from Cabo”

Get out your zig zags and turn on the black light.

It’s time to trip out.

Can you pass the acid test?

Seth Green Film Fest in L.A. !!

Attention people of planet nerdtastic,

your favorite shrimpy ginger celebrity is going to get his very own film festival.

That’s right.

He is creater of Robot Chicken and the voice of Family Guy’s Chris Griffin

he was on a few episodes of that 70’s show in 2004

AND he originated the small and forgettable role of Kenny Fisher in Can’t Hardly Wait

He is:

Seth Green.

The excitement begins on September 3.

SETH GREEN’S CINEMATIC CAVALCADE OF HORROR!

special guests TBA!!!

sept 3&4 ROBO COP & DIE HARD

sept 5&6 STRANGE BREW & BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

sept 7-9 YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES & TBA

sept 10&11 THREE O CLOCK HIGH & STATE OF GRACE

sept 12&13 BEVERLY HILLS COP & TBA

sept 14&15 SUPERMAN & BATMAN

head on down to the New Bev this fall and enjoy.

I will be there along with hundreds of others who couldn’t play sports in high school.

7165 West Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles CA 90036

Xena the lesbian princess!

Would you care to know what my biggest weakness is next to capers and blonde girls with long pointy noses?

YOUTUBE FAN VIDEOS ABOUT XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS

We don’t know each other but if we did, you might say, ” Angie you have gone cunt-crazy for Lucy Lawless and someone needs to push a come-back-to-reality stick up your poop poop hole before it’s too late”

but here’s the thing, Lucy Lawless is a fucking goddess from planet Hot. She is beautiful, she is dangerous, and she can do that thing where she hits pressure points on your neck, forces blood to trickle out of your nose, and threatens to let you just lie there and die IF you don’t tell her when the warlord plans to attack the village.

So you see, I’m not crazy. You guys just didn’t know all that other shit.

Samro & Lilo inches away from my drunk-tarded face!

I saw Southern California’s lesbo Royalty at the W in Westwood last night. I hoped that Lohan would notice my killer dance moves and call me over for a threesome with her and Samro but they just sat on a couch, guzzled down fruitcake drinks, and smoked reds inside.

a couple puke bombs on the side of the I-5 north and my 2 least favorite dyke-mos all in one night.

It was bliss.

Now look at photos of Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan holding hands and kissing eachother’s cheeks to the empowering bubblegum hit, Rumors.

yeah, I’m caught up in that shit.

Belafonte’s Favorite Torpedos

1. Righty and Lefty

pictured above: Resident busty semen bucket, Brandy Talore

2. Nip and Nap

pictured above: Porn star extraordinaire and out and out ho-bag, Gianna Michaels

3. The Blue-footed Booby

pictured above: rare Ecuadorian seabird known for it’s periwinkle footies.

4. Space ball and flying saucer

pictured above: Alien whore and violent sex soldier, Barbarella

5. Joey Lawrence

no explanation necessary

ALL LINKS ARE TO FREE P*RN VIDEOS AND LISTS OF MOVIES

STARRING  THE 2 BIG BREASTED HOS UP TOP.

Xena Warrior Princess is just like us!

Now available for your viewing pleasure: an entire millisecond of Lucy Lawless being a sillypuss vagina-fiend in real life.

Qauntum Creep

BAKULA: HOT PIECE or 50 YEAR OLD MAN THAT ONLY I AM ATTRACTED TO?

Sure, Quantum leap was over about 8 years ago and none of the actors have really done anything but fat lines of blow and low-budget made-for-TV movies since the series cancelation in 1996

BUT HEY, he’s Dr. Sam Beckett

He’s the kind of guy who would slip his hand around your neck and caress the soft spot behind your ear before looking at you as if to say, ” you are so fucking beautiful that looking at you makes me feel like our souls are dancing together in an ocean of love and chocolate mousse”

I saw  the BAK once at the Madrid on Sherman Way which is the kind of theater where the florescent marquee has 4 bulbs  burnt out and the ticket counter is jam-packed with hateful sickly looking he/shes that wear too much black eyeliner.

My girlfriend and I were celebrating our 3 month anniversary by

taking in  the sexually-charged, nazi-song and dance spectacular:

CABARET.

Bakula was sitting in the lobby with 4 elitist boogers talking about how flat the singers were and how,” it was just so awful to sit through that wretched rendition of blablablablabla something else pretentious”  This experience made me decide that Scott Bakula is less of a 90’s babe and more of a washed up 2004 Snobberson McCock.

But just to put it out there…

That wouldn’t stop me from blowing his 50 year old dong.

Three glorious decades of Mcdonald’s Commercials

An entertaining timeline of cash-obsessed fast food chain CEO’s trying to fill your chubby belly with affordable grease-soaked chicken farts.

Mcnugget Commercials through the ages.

Now, stuff your fat mouth.

When Brad Pitt Dissappoints me, my heart hurts.

I love Brad Pitt with all of my heart, body, and soul. All of my being and everything that I am is in love with his chiseled jaw and washboard abs

but do you want to know what I love EVEN MORE than heart-throb ,do-it-machine Brad Pitt

Never having to see the movie Troy again for the rest of my life.

I have been dick-crazy obsessed with Brad Pitt ever since I bought Legends of the fall from the $5 DVD bin at Walmart last month. So, what have I been doing for the last 4 weeks?

buying every Brad Pitt movie that exists in our universe… including the epic shitfest: TROY

MAYBE if you are one of the many americans who suffers from a combination of blindness, deafness, and slight retardation- I recommend that you go to your local Blockbuster and rent Troy. ….otherwise save your seven dollars and do something equally entertaining .. such as changing all the lightbulbs in your house and waiting for them to burn out

I guess you can’t win them all.

But if you can sit through the 5 all star celebrities putting on phony english accents for the first 3 and 1/2 hours .. the sex scene is so hot it will make your nipples swell up and fall off.