Samro & Lilo inches away from my drunk-tarded face!

I saw Southern California’s lesbo Royalty at the W in Westwood last night. I hoped that Lohan would notice my killer dance moves and call me over for a threesome with her and Samro but they just sat on a couch, guzzled down fruitcake drinks, and smoked reds inside.

a couple puke bombs on the side of the I-5 north and my 2 least favorite dyke-mos all in one night.

It was bliss.

Now look at photos of Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan holding hands and kissing eachother’s cheeks to the empowering bubblegum hit, Rumors.

yeah, I’m caught up in that shit.

Ban Samro and Lohan from the Lesbian Community.

IF YOU SEE THESE SCISSOR SISTERS:

SHOW NO MERCY.

“Dear everyone that exists,

I am Lindsay Lohan, the new American Lesbian Icon. At any given moment you can find me vomiting in a taco bell parking lot, threatening to shank hood’ rats, or taking it up my poop poop for just a little bit of smack. Young girls look up to me and they think that I am the definition of 5 things

1. Cool

2. hot

3. woman

4. important

5. lesbian

If I don’t die suddenly, 2008’s generation of 9-16 year old girls will emulate my every move and continue to believe that I represent everything listed above. Please take action and kill me in my sleep.

p.s. I literally wear 19 bracelets on my right forearm at all times and I just thought I’d bring it up because it’s incredibley f#cktarded.”

Do your part, vigilantes.